gonna sit here and try to make it sound softer.
it’s extremely uncomfortable.
it will have you lost, confused, anxious, depressed,
below rock bottom, triggered and sometimes hopeless.
it’s not just bubble baths, self care, face masks and candles.
it’s getting up when you don’t feel like it,
it’s leaving your comfort zone,
leaving the only things you may ever know of,
cutting certain people off,
unlearning some things to learn the right things.
don’t get me wrong, at the end it’s really a beautiful journey
and i’m not saying to hate it or despise it.
i’m just tired of it being tossed around so loosely.
-you ever had to re open your wounds
you thought were healed just to fully heal?
quiet
strength and peace is when you no longer care about other people knowing your side of the story.
ONLY 1 HER
pure, holy, divine, the truth
a God fearing woman
her love
her touch
her energy
her soul
her heart
her mind
her voice
her body
her laughs
her femininity
her beliefs
her strengths
her impact
her legacy
her loyalty
her knowledge
her worship
her roots
her growth
her testimonies
her story
i am her
there is only 1 of me
-and you will only get to fully experience me once.
the irony
too many words not enough action
too many apologies not enough change
too many wrongs too much forgiveness
-love can be such a contradiction
3
notice who's always silent. notice who always has something negative to say every time you tell them your vision or tell them about something good that God did for you.
szns
the dark season that you're in isn't permanent
after winter is spring
after spring is summer
after summer is fall
-change is inevitable so you might as well embrace every moment
and lesson in each season.
prayers
they keep saying i'll see better days soon but i don't know when
i tell myself to stop writing about you
but my mind continues to bleed
God is the only one who can save me
would you have let him take me?
i'm exhausted
mentally
spiritually
physically
i'm praying every day and night to heal my pain
this shit isn't for the aesthetics
you'll never get it
i had to replace my addiction of you with this journal
so instead of calling you up this would be the closest i'll get to it
my heart has sunken deeper into my stomach
the deeper i go onto the surface of this paper with this pen
they keep saying i'll see better days soon but i don't know when
so i keep my faith too and i keep asking god, "but when is soon?"
2 corinthians 5:7
walk by crazy faith
not by sight
don't let your current situation aka what you see with your sight
determine your faith towards your vision.
matthew 14:29
what is faith?
she was in a boat barely surviving
in an ocean full of chaos
God showed up in the midst of it
he said to her, "come"
she had wavy faith
but she stood up
she stepped out of the boat
her and god both walked on water
vibes
