tears from the pain would grow her
into a collection of roses and daisies
little did she know
the garden she grew
would be her heaven on earth
i just want to know how you're doing
i know we set out to grow more
but i'm growing anxious
i'm dying to hear your voice
to feel your lips
to feel your hands
to feel your love
i don't want to know about anybody else
i don't want to know your experience
i don't want to know if you gave another
your time, affection, energy, and presence
cause then i'll know you had intentions of moving on
cause then i'll know you were still seeking the waters
while i was seeking to be the best woman i could be
here at home
for you
for us
for me
-it hasn't been too long though it feels like forever.
i want to know how you're doing, but sometimes
some things are better left unsaid.
shame, less? mind, less?
i'm told it's not my fault
i'm told to distance myself
i tell myself, "you don't need that in your life"
i don't
but what is a daughter without a father?
i guess you can now say, a woman
an independent one
the drastic changes hit
but the blessings that hit compare to none
your caller id says your name but is that really you?
is your mind over the clouds watching the new you take over?
psalms and songs
i guess i held onto our psalms
it was our words of our love story
that were written and spoken
that never allowed me to let go
the blue print was there
our psalms consisted of endurance
divinity
faith
past eternal love
truth
promises
our psalms were my favorite songs
that i never wanted to stop playing
the heavens put their stamp on it
God created it
we walked it
we lived it
lightyears
my heart
soul
mind
i feel like i was born in another life
i'm an old soul in a new body
or maybe i was meant to be this grown at such a young age?
luv 2 luv
you know that love where you just admire your significant other while they're driving?
where that admiration turns into realization
that this is your person?
i adore that love.
antioch, ca 8:40PM my bed
our vibe and connection so strong
we don't even need to say a word
our exchange of energy
is as destructive and powerful as a nuclear bomb
your eyes
the stars i can count
the constellation i see in them
i look into them and know we're meant
as we hold hands and smile in silence
i can read your mind
i'm pretty sure you can read mine too
don't speak, love
let our passion take over
-i know i'm not crazy
but i want this forever.
the letter// kehlani
dear mom,
sometimes i wish you never left me. sometimes i wish you wanted to work things out. sometimes i wish you would somehow find my number and call me for lunch to see how i'm doing. sometimes i wish i knew what it's like to be held by you. sometimes i wish i knew a mother's unconditional love. sometimes i wish you loved me so that i wouldn't be mean to those who try to replace your love and love me. sometimes i wish things were different between us. then i remember things are different between us because we're too different, clearly. then i remember not to beg for love, especially love that's supposed to come from one who made me. then i snap out of it and remind myself i don't want to ever be the person you are or be around you. i remind
