I replace lack of trust with trust, by taking right actions and experiencing the results.
I understand trust is more than a feeling; it is the action I take of opening up and sharing with another person, listening to and following another’s suggestion, and continuing to stay in the pain recovery process.
CONCERN
RELATIONSHIPS
“The ability to give back is a gift that recovery provides. When you get out of yourself, it helps you to see your problems in the proper perspective and context.”
Pain Recovery: How to Find Balance and Reduce Suffering from Chronic Pain
Am I making a habit of demonstrating concern or caring for others when I am at a recovery group meeting, or am I always making everything about me? Am I sharing to talk about my own pain to get attention, or to help others find a solution?
I can start showing concern for others from the very beginning of my recovery. If I’m not picking up the telephone because I don’t want to talk to anyone, why don’t I make it a habit to pick up the phone to listen? Soon, I can make it a habit to call others to see how they are doing. I ask others how they are progressing in their pain recovery program. At first I may do this to create an opening so I can talk about myself. But soon, I find myself genuinely showing others the concern that I want people to show for me. I listen, not providing advice or direction, but just to lend an ear that others can talk to. I know the isolation that comes from chronic pain and active addiction. I know the loneliness of early recovery. I can show concern for others on that same path by extending myself to others who are in the process of recovery as well.
I make a habit of demonstrating concern for the welfare of others. Part of my daily routine is to get out of myself and show, by my actions, I care for another who is recovering from chronic pain and addiction.
PATIENCE
PHYSICAL BALANCE
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
St. Augustine
When I’m in pain, I want it to stop. Right now. Pain medications might give me that immediate relief I crave; however, the damage they may do to my recovery means they are no longer an option for me. I have to use the tools of pain recovery today in order to take care of my disease of addiction as well as my pain. And that takes a lot of patience.
Because today I seek relief in the principles embodied in the Twelve Steps rather than in pain medication, I must be patient. I’ve learned that twelve-step recovery works if I work it; however, it is not as quick as a pill. If I expect immediate results from my efforts to reduce or eliminate my pain, my expectations may lead to frustration and disappointment, because practicing twelve-step principles, though ultimately effective, takes longer than pain medications. This is why patience is so important.
Impatient expectations only cause my pain to get worse. My worsening pain then tests my patience. The vicious cycle of pain and impatience spins to increase physical and emotional suffering. When I am able to muster even the smallest amount of acceptance and display the least bit of patience, I soon discover that my pain lessens.
I use the tools available to learn patience and reduce my stress and pain. I learn from others in the program how to develop necessary coping skills. Patience brings progress. As long as I take a step in the right direction and do it slowly, patience finds me.
GRATITUDE
MENTAL BALANCE
“Now that I’m in recovery I don’t fantasize about dying or dread the thought of living. I wake up each day grateful for another twenty-four hours clean and look forward toward the unfolding day with anticipation.”
Tails of Recovery: Addicts and the Pets That Love Them
Waking up each day with gratitude does not mean that I don’t wake some mornings with some anxiety or a little stress about the day ahead. What it means to wake up with gratitude for me is that I take the time to remember what I’m glad to have in my life— recovery, family, friends, a program. How different from when I was in active addiction, before I entered recovery. Then, I would wake up and think of all the difficult things that lay ahead of me: this doctor appointment, that lab test, my pain and how I’m going to suffer through the day.
Today, I bring to mind the good things in my life, and I get to the other stuff later. First-things-first today means focusing on the gratitude in my life. That attitude carries me through my day, regardless of how I’m feeling or what kind of day is ahead of me.
Gratitude is a state of mind more than anything else. I keep gratitude in my mind and think of things that I am grateful for, whether I am feeling grateful or not; I still know I have much to be grateful for.
ALL FEELINGS ARE TEMPORARY
EMOTIONAL BALANCE
“Sometimes I think I shouldn’t feel the way I do. When I start thinking this way I tell myself that feelings are neither good nor bad—they simply are. In the midst of intense negative feelings, whether fear, anger, depression, etc., it can feel as though they will last forever, like they will never end. It promotes emotional balance to maintain an awareness that all feelings are temporary, and that they always change.”
Adapted from Pain Recovery: How to Find Balance and Reduce Suffering from Chronic Pain
Emotional balance is achieved when I allow myself to feel whatever comes up, and learn to accept my feelings without judging them. Because my feelings are a part of me, accepting them as they are is an important part of accepting myself as I am. This is also known as self-acceptance. Whatever positive change I want to make in my life, acceptance of how and where I am at in the present moment is one of the keys to moving forward. Accepting my feelings also takes less energy than trying to avoid or suppress them, and helps me maintain balance by eliminating the need for them to persist. Genuine acceptance of my feelings gives me the opportunity to shift my energy to thoughts and actions that facilitate the learning, growing, and healing that can fuel the continuing progress of my pain recovery.
I have learned to practice strategies to identify and express emotions in ways that promote balance; deal with distressing, uncomfortable feelings in healthy ways; and strengthen positive feelings to promote growing, healing, and recovery.
LOVING KINDNESS
SPIRITUAL BALANCE
“The highest wisdom is loving kindness.”
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