to self-contained programs that wrapped up each episode’s narrative arc at the end of thirty or sixty minutes. Back in 1981 the series Hill Street Blues pioneered the concept of character-driven dramatic television. Over multiple episodes, the show’s creators broke the mold by fracturing linear story lines, exploring the flawed characters’ lives, and depicting a gritty urban environment. The series won twenty-six Emmy Awards.
The writer David Milch, who also co-created NYPD Blue, told the New York Times, “There’s a saying in all writers’ rooms—it’s either fear or faith. You’re either trying to satisfy your guess about other people’s expectations, or you’re working through the genuine and authentic possibilities of the material.”38
By choosing the latter, Milch, his partner Steven Bochco, and others exhibited chutzpah with their willingness to risk millions of dollars and their careers. Standard operating theory in the entertainment industry is to create material with an eye on audience expectations, and typically repeat what has worked in the past. Today, whether it’s Penny Dreadful, Billions, or my favorite series, Ray Donovan, many shows now continue storylines and character arcs over multiple episodes. And they use teaser clips to entice audiences to watch next time.
Unfortunately, in the entertainment industry, there are still few opportunities for women to direct television or films. As of 2015 only 18 percent of first-time episodic television directors were female.39 Recently, the Directors Guild Association reported that only 6.4 percent of the 347 feature films released in 2013 and 2014 were directed by women, and just 3 percent of the 212 films with U.S. domestic box-office grosses greater than $10 million were helmed by women.40 There are even fewer examples of women directing action films, since that’s typically considered a man’s territory.
But a handful of female directors have broken the mold. I cheered when Kathryn Bigelow won an Academy Award for Best Director in 2010 for The Hurt Locker.41 Bigelow was the first female director in history to win this award. I applauded the decision to have Kimberly Peirce direct the remake of the cult favorite Carrie in 2013 with a $30 million budget.42 And although the Academy of Motion Pictures didn’t nominate Ava DuVernay for her direction of Selma, the movie about the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I appreciated the bold move of giving the storytelling responsibility of this film to a relative newcomer.43
Most people don’t know that DuVernay was rejected seven times by the Sundance Institute before she broke through and won the festival’s directing award with Middle of Nowhere. I appreciated her frankness when, giving a talk on women in Hollywood, she said, “So often in this industry we wait for permission. We wait for someone to tell us it’s OK to do something. Sometimes you have to create your own systems, your own structure.”44 DuVernay did just that when she founded the African-American Film Festival Releasing Movement in 2011 to distribute black independent films. She didn’t wait for anyone to hand her anything.
In business, male executives are expected to make changes. I’ve coached many male CEOs and managing partners who are exhilarated when given the chance to put their own stamp on a project. They’re competitive and want to be acknowledged for their bold moves. They know that what’s risky and trend-setting today may be tame and the new norm in just a few years.
Does the same standard apply to female executives? Ursula Burns, CEO of Xerox and the first African-American woman to run a Fortune 500 company, has an unaffected, no-nonsense presentation style. Her message on telling it like it is can be a beacon for women: “I realized I was more convincing to myself and to the people who were listening when I actually said what I thought, versus what I thought people wanted to hear me say.”45
Burns also uses wit and self-effacing humor to play down her accomplishments. “One of the things that I was told early on is that you should never let them see you sweat. I remember hearing that and saying: ‘Oh my God! I think that they have to see you sweat.’”46
Lori Garver, former deputy administrator of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), is another woman who has the courage to make tough and often unpopular changes. Garver shared her perspective in Stop Playing Safe: Rethink Risk. Unlock the Power of Courage. Achieve Outstanding Success, by Margie Warrell: “People have grown to understand that they know exactly where they stand with me.”47 She didn’t say that her colleagues always liked where she stood on issues, but at least there was no confusion.
Myth #5: Women Are More Effective Behind the Scenes
When David and I conduct interactive public workshops or trainings within companies, 90 percent of the time the men volunteer first. Women will participate eventually, but only after reading the room. I’ve even had to “voluntell” some women to be out front. If I had to guess the reason for this reluctance, I’d say it’s that women tend to avoid being impetuous. Women don’t want to put themselves out there and do it wrong. They’ve internalized the expectation that if they can’t be perfect, then they don’t want to be exposed, vulnerable, or subject to criticism.
The only time I see women go first is with an exercise that gives participants seven ways to close a presentation. The instructions are that if someone else has chosen the closing device you wanted, and speaks before you do, that choice is now off the table. Since women prepare as much as possible and typically don’t like being put on the spot, they’re often the first to volunteer—but only so no one else chooses their closing device.
I can’t think of one valid reason why men are better leaders, ambassadors, or public speakers. But each of these jobs requires putting yourself out front and having the courage of your convictions.
One Friday night our synagogue invited an elderly gentleman to give a talk on the Dead Sea Scrolls. The subject held little interest for me and the gentleman was shuffling very slowly to the lectern. I wondered how to leave discreetly before he began to speak.
Had I left, I would have missed one of the most compelling and informative presentations I’ve ever heard. His passion for the subject made the time fly by. I chided myself for making an assumption that because he was in his eighties and slow on his feet, his speaking ability was diminished. I never made that mistake again.
If every speaker had a similar style, the audience would soon be deathly bored. The solution is to be authentic and invested in your material. It’s fine to admire a dynamic speaker. But if your style is more reserved and thoughtful, then that’s what an audience will respond to—because it’s genuine.
Audiences can tell if you are trying to be something you’re not. Personally, I’m turned off by motivational speakers. They seem phony. Their gestures are often exaggerated. I’m not sure what they really believe. Because their delivery sounds canned and rote, it’s obvious this talk is a repeat.
To be a persuasive speaker, engage with the audience by allowing moments of insight and inspiration to emerge. Be present. Strive to come across as connected to your topic and the audience, as opposed to reciting, memorizing, or reading your material. Take active steps to break the fourth wall, the imagined barrier between the speaker and the audience. You can do this by crossing downstage (moving at an angle toward the audience), asking a question, or interacting with audience members.
Take active steps to break the fourth wall, the imagined barrier between the speaker and the audience.
Women often tell me they feel inadequate because motivational speakers sound polished.
