much fun it was. That first morning I made fifteen runs on beginner trails. After lunch, and a couple of glasses of wine, my friends persuaded me to tackle intermediate slopes.
As I took the chairlift up the mountain, I knew I was in trouble. The enormous moguls were terrifying, the slope was incredibly steep, and huge patches were covered in ice. I managed to get off the chair and stand at the top of the run. But without lessons, I had no idea how to navigate the mountain or use the edges of my skis to turn or slow myself down. My heart pounded in my ears, and the fear was palpable. My whole body stiffened, even though I knew that would only increase the possibility of injury.
Fear is a monstrous inhibitor, whether you’re facing a steep slope or a critical presentation. It can shut you down or persuade you to avoid a new experience. One of the biggest obstacles holding women back when it comes to public speaking is anxiety. If you avoid speaking because your heart pumps faster, your mouth goes dry, or your brain tells you to run, the fear will keep you from reaching your full potential. Consequently, it’s all the more satisfying when you face your fears head-on.
If you avoid speaking because your heart pumps faster, your mouth goes dry, or your brain tells you to run, the fear will keep you from reaching your full potential.
There’s something exhilarating about being on the edge, not totally in control, yet so focused that the problems of the world fade away. That afternoon, on my first intermediate run, I made it to the bottom, a bit bruised and battered but in one piece. And I committed to learning the necessary skills so that I could ski more challenging slopes and enjoy the experience.
Over the next few years, with instruction and lots of practice, I became a capable intermediate skier. Had I stayed on the bunny slope and never pushed myself, I would have missed some of the greatest memories of my life.
To become outstanding presenters, we need to push ourselves to take risks—even if we sometimes fail. That includes giving a talk without PowerPoint, speaking extemporaneously (or with only a few minutes to prepare), and moving from behind the lectern to face the audience with nothing between us and them.
Start by making simple changes. Since the audience pays attention to verbs, make a conscious effort to incorporate strong, active verbs when engaging an audience, describing your process, or telling a story. For example, “helped,” “worked with,” “assisted,” and “tried” are weak verbs. We can’t picture their function, and we don’t associate them with definitive, decisive actions. Stronger verbs include “implemented,” “designed,” “executed,” and “persuaded.” Use active verbs to be seen as a powerful professional.
Clients tell me they often use general, imprecise words or phrases to be polite and inclusive, or because they believe the audience understands their meaning. But unless the listener can picture what it is you’re saying, I guarantee that you’ll lose their attention. Just because you think you’re clear doesn’t mean that anyone else has the same idea or definition of a concept. Define terms that might be unfamiliar to someone in the audience. Use concrete language and visual specifics to describe your concept, product, or services. For example, can you picture “opportunity,” “creative problem solving,” “brand,” or “the vision for your company?” Exactly. So the next time you hear yourself use a generality, follow it up with “like,” “such as,” or “for example.” In the future, replace every generality with a specific example. When we see it, we’re much more likely to believe it.
Once you commit to incorporating new techniques into your speaking, you can take a page from Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. He wrote that individuals who are seen as quick thinkers or have rapid cognition employ “training, rules, and rehearsal.”34
I’ve yet to meet anyone who was born a great speaker. But I’ve coached and trained hundreds of professionals who approach speaking as a learned skill they can always upgrade and improve.
Use concrete language and visual specifics to describe your concept, product, or services.
Myth #2: Only Experts Deserve to Speak in Public, and I’m Not One
Becoming an expert is a time-consuming, arduous process that only a select few achieve in their respective fields. I applaud experts. But I don’t want or need to become one. Although every industry employs experts for research and analysis, we typically don’t form strategic alliances with them. And in my experience, few experts rise to the top of organizations.
In addition, I’ve rarely listened to an expert who succeeded in persuading an audience, especially when the goal was to influence others to take an action or change their behavior. Experts are known for being objective, fact-based, and analytical, so their presentations tend to appeal to the intellect. After all, it’s an expert’s job to inform, educate, and convey information.
Of course, education and information can comprise a portion of any talk, but not its entirety. It’s crucial that you carefully select which data to incorporate, choosing only what supports your argument or premise, rather than rattling off figures and statistics that bore or cause the audience to feel overloaded by too much information.
Also, an exclusively objective talk doesn’t include the speaker’s opinions. As an expert, the presenter carefully builds a case and reports the facts or supporting arguments without featuring her perspective. Interestingly, when a speaker does take on the role of an expert, she’s asking the audience to debate, question, and even disagree with the content she presents. In psychology, this is called “priming.”35 Is it any wonder that women who strive to be experts are fearful of how they’ll be perceived? It’s like encouraging an audience to mentally (and sometimes verbally) tear apart your content. Talk about pressure!
Instead, when a speaker commits to convincing her audience, there are a myriad of tools she can employ. She can be passionate about her topic. She can target her comments to what is relevant to her audience. She can tell stories. And she can add her own perspective based on her experience, observations, or beliefs.
When you choose a role other than expert, it doesn’t matter if someone disagrees with you. It’s only one person’s opinion versus yours. I’ve enjoyed listening to great speakers who are competitive, goal-oriented, and intentional. They understand how these traits serve them. These same traits have to be subsumed if you take on the role of an expert. And of course, there will always be someone smarter or more experienced than you.
The good news is that most of the boring, long, and forgettable presentations I’ve listened to were delivered by speakers who believed they needed to be an expert before they had the right to address an audience. Don’t make that mistake. Take the pressure off yourself. You and your audience will be grateful.
Myth #3: It’s Unprofessional to Include My Values, Experience, or Perspective When Presenting a Business Topic
Somewhere along the line, it became pro forma to leave our opinion or perspective out of presentations, essays, and negotiations. I think habit and the fear of being judged drives this condition for women.
Perhaps it was passed down from one generation of business executives to the next. Or we copied
