thanks, Ben!’
He switched his gaze to Eva who was standing by the open car door, frozen to the spot. ‘Hi, Eva. How are you?’
He looked tired and unshaven and so gorgeous that Eva felt her body betray her and she inhaled sharply.
‘Great, yes … fine.’ She’d been aiming for casual and confident but somehow her voice came out weirdly high.
‘I wanted to check you still have a set of keys for my house?’
‘Oh, yes. Sorry, I should have given them back to you.’
‘No, it’s fine. I’m heading down south for a bit – I don’t want to leave the house in London empty over the holidays.’ He ran a hand along his jagged jawline, looking distracted. ‘Would you mind holding on to them – just in case something happens while I’m away?’
‘Oh, yes … of course.’
‘I know you’re more than capable of handling anything.’ A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. ‘Take care of yourself, Eva.’
‘You too.’
She took a deep breath and climbed into the car. Just because he looked tired didn’t mean she should worry about him making that long journey. He would be fine, she told herself, glancing at the clock on the dashboard and pulling out of the driveway.
They had plenty of time so she decided to take the coastal road, driving through the pretty fishing villages of Crail and Anstruther while Christmas songs played on the radio. They had just driven over the forth road bridge when Jamie surprised her.
‘You know, Mum, I really like Ben.’
Her hands tightened on the wheel but she kept her voice casual. ‘He’s been a great help with your maths.’
‘And he’s taught me how to move all the pieces on a chess board.’
‘That’s good,’ Eva replied evenly.
‘I liked when he came to our house. When’s he going to come for dinner again?’
Eva swallowed. ‘Oh, I’m not sure. He’s probably busy at the university.’
‘But I can still go and ask him stuff?’
‘Of course, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that.’ Eva frowned, wondering if Jamie had picked up on anything.
‘We’ve started algebra at school,’ he told her sounding miserable.
‘Well, don’t worry. I can always help you.’
He made a face, looking doubtful.
‘What? We’ll be able to work it out between us.’
‘Mum, you can’t google it. I need someone to, like, actually explain it properly. It’s good when Ben helps – I just sort of understand it more.’
In all her own turmoil she hadn’t stopped to think just how much Jamie and Ben had connected. She had been trying to protect Jamie and didn’t feel good about her son missing Ben. Jamie clearly loved having Ben in their lives and she couldn’t deny he’d been a great role model for her son. She felt her shoulders slump, dismayed that trying to do the right thing seemed so wrong at times.
When they arrived in Edinburgh, parking was a bit of a nightmare but eventually Eva found a space on the outskirts of the centre. They got to Princes Street twenty minutes later, Eva enjoying the views of the castle and the bustling Christmas shoppers while Jamie complained about the distance they had to walk. Entering the museum they passed through the grand central hall, Eva pointing to portraits of famous Scottish doctors while Jamie showed more interest in the stuffed animals and dinosaur skeleton. They found Sarah and Helen already seated at a table in the café.
‘Hi, Mum.’ Eva bent and kissed her powdery cheek and eyed Jamie to do the same. Eva slipped off her coat and scarf, giving Sarah a double take. Her clothes were still very Sarah-esque but she wore pretty pearl drop earrings and looked softer somehow. She stood to embrace Eva and turned to Jamie.
‘Would you like to come and help me get the drinks?’ she asked him sounding a tad awkward.
‘Er, yeah,’ Jamie responded.
The role of aunt wasn’t one Sarah slipped into naturally but Eva could see she was trying and appreciated the effort.
‘Mum, usual for you?’
‘Yes please, darling.’
‘Eva?’
‘I’ll have a cappuccino please,’ Eva answered, all intentions for a decaf-skinny abandoned. She smiled across at her mother who she felt scrutinize her.
‘How are you, darling?’ Helen asked.
‘I’m fine, Mum.’
‘You look a bit … peaky.’
Eva straightened herself and smoothed down her hair as if that would make a difference but for once couldn’t argue with her mother’s appraisal.
‘I’m all right – had a couple of bad night sleeps, that’s all.’
Tilting her head to the side, Helen regarded her.
‘You know, there’s a wonderful spa I go to. I could book us in for a day after Christmas … we could go together and make a day of it, have a few treatments.’ Eva’s excuse was on the tip of her tongue but she stopped herself. Thinking of how far she and Sarah had come recently, maybe it was time to try and improve relations with her mum and after all, a few spa treatments might not go amiss.
‘That sounds really nice, thanks, Mum.’ Eva was rewarded with a beatific smile.
‘How is Jamie getting on at school?’
Ignoring what she knew was a reference to his academic progress, Eva deliberately focused instead on what mattered to her.
‘He’s great. Making plenty of friends, playing sports. He seems to have settled really well at high school.’
‘And how’s he doing in all his subjects? It’s important he makes a good start in first year.’
‘Of course, and he’s doing fine, Mum,’ Eva reassured her. It had been a bittersweet moment when Jamie had come home proudly declaring his mark to be one of the highest in the class maths test. Clearly Ben was a good teacher but then that didn’t surprise Eva. She looked over at Jamie now standing in the queue with Sarah, something he said making her laugh. Eva returned her focus back to Helen. Unlike her own pallor, her mother’s appearance held an undeniable radiance that Eva assumed was thanks to George.
Sarah and Eva had talked on the phone, Sarah explaining that she and Helen had discussed their ‘new situation’ as she described it. Eva hadn’t asked for the details, feeling it was between Sarah and her mother. As long as they were both happy, that was enough for her. Sarah had made the decision to go to Holland in the New Year for a couple
