We need both detail and the bigger picture. Women are relaters and men are visionaries, goal and achievement driven. Relationship and vision are important. Look at any woman, observe her keenly and you will realize that her weaknesses are manâs strength and her strengths are manâs weaknesses. Thatâs why evolution doesnât make sense to me. If you are to look at a penis or vagina, can you honestly tell me that you would still be confident enough to believe in evolution? Charles Darwin must have been crazy...The vagina and the penis donât seem to represent any coincidence. It looks to me like a maker deliberately designed these things. Itâs a perfect fit, if not a perfect match!
(3)decision
Do I need to tell an observant man that women tend to be spontaneous decision makers who are not stable? Even if a woman is fast at deciding, she can soon change her decisionâjust after making it. Women are gifted in exhausting the patience of men especially when shopping. Women can tryout 10 jeans, only to buy one. A man almost instantly decides to buy a pair of shoes, hardly 3 minutes later, he is at the counter. If you want to see the real difference between a man and a woman just take them to Wal-Mart and see how each behave. My wife used to annoy the hell out of me until I realized she is like that by design.ââHe created them male and female, and blessed them and called them Mankindââ,(Genesis 5:2). Is your lady supposing that it is reasonable to go around the shops comparing lettuce prices? Yes, its good to buy observing prices and making good decisions inspired by trivial differences but in addition to that, we have to understand that Eve is wired to function like that. The male and female thing is a God design. Even gays canât help but have male and female. If they are both male, one will play female. Males make bold spontaneous decisions and sometimes take precious time to make decisions due to thinking. We think things through. Women think we are slow, no we are not. We are thoughtful. Ladies enjoy menâs decisive power a lot except when itâs time to buy shoes! While writing this book I thought it wise to ask my wife what she thinks of men compared to women when it comes to making a decision. ââWomen make decisions that are linked to a whole lot of thingsââ, she says ââthey will buy a pair of shoes, comparing it to other shoes, looking at color, style, and many other options, but men make decisions that are hardly linked to many factors. They simply get into a shop, make a minuteâs worth of comparison and already they are paying for their choiceââ, she concludes, adamantly viewing that as eccentric.
Though some of the men want to appear very spiritual about the kind of woman they chose. A manâs choice borders on sexual appeal. Itâs not lust to be attracted as a man to your woman and fantasize about having sex with her. Itâs perfectly normal. Remember, men are generally weak at recognizing and recalling details. But a woman will link her choosing a man to a whole lot of things. His cologne, appearance, voice, eye contact shape, height, lips, the way he touches things, his car and achievements. You can tell from the list of things that the decision to marry him did not come over-night. Women thus make somewhat quick yet very calculated decisions attached to a lot of things and men make slow often-risky decisions hinged on one or two solid facts after critical thinking. I am a man, and I love the way men make decisions and donât like taking a lifetime to make small decisions due to focusing on petty things, but I also love the way my wife thinksâAlthough itâs petty, it has saved us from a lot of problems that my eyes were too impatient to notice. But still, I prefer my way. I am naturally wired to draw spontaneous conclusions after thinking, like turning a motorcycle in speed. Men are brilliant in making ââquickââ smart decisions in war, racing, courtroom and wherever there is rivalry.
Had it not been for womenâs âpettinessâ, most products would have been worse than they look today. Mary Marther, A renowned cognitive neurologist at Southern California university together with Nichole R. Lighthall, a neurological scientist from Duke University did some experiments that proved that women and men were fairly equal at decision making but when both genders are under stress, the study observed that menâs decisive excellence declined while women continued to make better decisions under stress and duress. A woman can decide on which diapers are better for her baby when her boyfriend has left her.
Enter K.A Bareki, when I am stressed, I simply take a break and go into a cave of silence, I will return with the solution coz in the meantime I know my brain needs space. Do you have a problem with that? Well then you have a problem with God, coz he made me that way. But we make good decisions believe me, sister. One time I was going somewhere. Then I thought it better to wear my boots with a jean and a formal shirt. I just wanted to look like a young vibrant preacher who still has his looks together. So I took them boots. But my wife thought I had concluded on the boots too soon. ââAre you wearing those?ââ, she asked. I gave her the look that says ââwhy waste time?ââ, to which she verbally responded ââbut why donât you compare them with other pairs and see which one would be great?ââ Immediately I thought, âânow thatâs typical of Eve. Why the heck should I compare my boot with other shoes? I want to wear boots and thatâs it.ââ My wife obviously compared me to other guys before she chose me. I was just looking at her. I had no girl catalogue. So we are really different and that sparks war all the time for immature couples. I hardly prefer to think the way my wife thinks. But behind the corner, and in secrecy, I know she is smart and often makes better choices .She is a good chooser.Yeah, she chose me. Talk about ego. I am not going to let myself down in a book by telling you that I am less smart. No way. Maybe I am even better. Yeah, whatever..
The other day, my wife and I had accompanied an ill woman to her doctor. Along the way, my wife and this lady were trying to decide on what to do since they had enquired and were informed that the said doctor is not in. They were just thinking about other options and other doctors. They were deciding like typical women. Heish! You have no idea how I was feeling when two women were acting like Eve in a shoe shop. I was wondering why they donât decide for us to go to flipping doctor B since doctor A is not in, and stand by that decision. After 10 years of marriage, I am still not used to this decision conundrum. Eish! Is there a man somewhere who understands my point? Is any woman reading sex and intimacy 101? Can I get an amen? Haaahaaaahh khi khi khi...Get this one thing straight: men and women are different in making decisionsâPeriod! That makes them different in having sex.
(4) Emotion
Emotion is the part we all probably know about men and women. Men tend to be reserved and will deal with emotions privately while women burst out and reveal their emotional issues to those closer to them. But men view bursting out emotionally as a sign of weakness, and will generally go into a time of lone ranging in their cave until they are clear about the problem and how to solve it.
The crisis in relationships is that women tend to want to treat men like other women and want them to open up, and this for what I know, is as irritating as having a fly trapped in your underwear . Women a great deal of times want men to share their problems with them and open up. But men, donât quiet appreciate that any more than they recognize that as being bothered. Imagine me for example. I am a man. Not only a man but one who has written profound books that affect thousands and thousands of people. But even after all such achievements I am no superman. I still go into my cave when I am depressed. I donât agree with those who think society has taught men not to cry out loud about their problems. The way men approach problems is not driven by socialization more than it is driven by nature. Men are naturally not women and we donât have to blame their society for not teaching them to expresses their grievances instead of caving in. Men are men and it matters less as to whether they are from France,Vietnam or Monterey Peninsula.
Men love to be appreciated for mowing the lawn, providing for the family, driving to Capetown safely and sexing the hell out of their wives. But women seldom do realize that men appreciate and need such praise. And it feels childish (I suppose) for a man to ask his woman to praise him. So, he will never directly ask for it. And even
