has your relationship been affected?
EXAMPLES
He calls me from work every hour saying he is just checking in when in the past he never called at all. I find myself confused. I am angry and rude toward him, and yet, sort of relieved.
She keeps telling me it is me she wants, not those other men, and she doesn’t need to go for help, she can handle it. I walk away from her when she tells me that, or I start to rage at her. Either way I feel sick.
EMOTIONAL
How has your emotional life been affected?
EXAMPLES
I am crying all of the time. I cry at work, in the car, watching TV, in bed. I can’t seem to stop.
I’m a walking zombie. I can’t concentrate. I can’t listen. Then I suddenly burst into tears. This all happens while I am out shopping, taking the kids to school, or at the health club. I am a mess.
SOCIAL
How has your social life been affected?
EXAMPLES
He doesn’t want to go do anything, and I don’t want to stay at home with him.
Our social life has not changed, but I realize how living this lie is such a farce with our so-called friends not knowing. We pretend all is okay, and I spend my whole time being quietly angry. People ask me what is wrong, but I am too ashamed to say anything and my wife acts like everything is fine.
SEXUAL
How has your sexual relationship been impacted?
EXAMPLES
Actually, per the therapist’s suggestion, we aren’t having sex for a while. And that makes it easier.
I find myself obsessing about what he has done while we are being sexual.
PARENTAL
How has the parenting of your children been affected?
EXAMPLES
I find myself distracted and not listening to my kids. They are reacting to us by being more whiny and needy. My young one has started to wet the bed again.
I have had to send them to my mother’s for the time being. I talk to them on the phone or pick them up after school for a while.
PHYSICAL
How has your physical well-being been impacted?
EXAMPLES
I have started to have migraines.
I’ve gained weight/I’ve lost weight.
EMPLOYMENT
How has your work performance been impacted?
EXAMPLES
I have told too many people at work and now I am embarrassed.
I have taken a lot of time off work saying I am sick.
