photographs of anything that appealed to them or scrapbooked old photos as a tool to cope with their grief and as a way to record their past. Some partners physically built pieces of furniture, made a dog/bird house, or designed shelving for their home. One person planted a garden of their favorite vegetables and flowers. Find whatever it is that feels creative to you and provides an outlet that validates your worthiness. Creating is something I would encourage as a means of honoring your talents and increasing self-esteem.
AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE
Picking a pronoun,
Choosing a name,
Redesigning our home,
No one is to blame!
Journal your reaction to this Deserving De-Stress Delight.
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Timeline
When and with whom will you or your partner begin using their new pronoun/name?
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Box
List all of the artifacts requested to be removed from view and check off if and when each one is taken away or down. Just because an artifact is listed, it does not mean it must be removed. This is simply a place to record those artifacts in question and their location.
| 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 4 | 5 | 6 |
| 7 | 8 | 9 |
| 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 |
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
EMPATHY-EMBRACING EXERCISE
Part of a partner’s journey may involve adjusting to using a new name or pronoun. This exercise question shows a partner that this is part of what many people have done in other instances. The greatest learning tools for grasping the change in name and pronoun are patience with yourself, willingness, time, and much practice.
AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE
Calling on
Crystal balls,
Fortune tellers,
Soothsayers,
Can our history
Be part of our
Future?
Do you know anyone from your past who has asked you to call them by a different name, pronoun, or honorific, perhaps due to marriage or for other reasons? How long did it take you to adjust to this new name, pronoun, or honorific, and how did you learn to adjust to the change?
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Bar Graph
To what degree does/did it feel sad or upsetting to you to remove artifacts, photographs, or to use the name/pronoun requested by your partner? Based on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, color or shade in your response. This visual will help you see where your greatest concerns lie and can help you to communicate this to your trans-identified partner, therapist, spiritual mentor, or for your own personal understanding. The bar graph results may vary as the transition progresses and your thoughts may shift.
Use these ideas to fill in the bar graph or feel free to create your own!
A. The changing of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition name/pronoun assigned at birth.
B. People misgendering your trans-identified partner.
C. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos.
D. Removal of the couple’s pre-transition photos.
E. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos with family.
F. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos with friends.
G. Removal of trans-identified partner’s special events pre-transition photos.
H. Not saying name/pronoun assigned at birth in public.
I. Not saying name/pronoun assigned at birth during sex/intimacy.
J. Not posting documents, awards, or licenses that contain the written name/pronoun assigned at birth anywhere.
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Pie Graph
To what degree does/did it feel sad or upsetting to you to remove artifacts, photographs, or to use the name/pronoun requested by your partner? Decide how important these statements are to you in relation to each other. Place the number that corresponds with a suggested topic within as many slices of the pie that conveys how each one matters to you. Only one number should be placed in each slice. You do not need to use all the topics but do fill in all the slices. Feel free to create your own topics and assign them their own number.
1. The changing of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition name/pronoun assigned at birth.
2. People misgendering your trans-identified partner.
3. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos.
4. Removal of the couple’s pre-transition photos.
5. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos with family
6. Removal of trans-identified partner’s pre-transition photos with friends.
7.
