can I take care of we?
Listening to a guided audiotape of peaceful music or participating in a gentle yoga class were also relaxing. These experiences enabled me to be passive as I received the directed suggestions. It was soothing to close my eyes and embrace the gentleness of the harmonious sounds. If walking or being guided by an outside entity did not seem to be what I needed, I sought out an activity that was both repetitive and mindless, such as doing a jigsaw puzzle, a word search, or simply coloring or sketching. Most de-stressing for me was a mini-nap. I would set an alarm for 5–10 minutes and close my eyes as I sat in a chair or lay on a bed. Often, I repeated a mantra or imagined myself in a specific place that I loved and just let myself breathe. When the time was up, I felt renewed and ready to face the world of the unfamiliar!
Journal your reaction to this Deserving De-Stress Delight.
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Timeline
I wish I had kept a log of all the critical happenings that occurred throughout the transition process, but I did not. This tool can help you keep a record of these moments as time goes by.
Complete the timeline as you find out different, relevant pieces of information about the transition. You may need or choose to use this information to discuss these events with a therapist, for medical needs, or for your own point of reference. Examples to record: when you may have realized that transitioning was possibly necessary; when you might have been told of the need for social or medical changes; when your partner began using a different bathroom; when your partner began to wear clothing of their affirmed gender; when you chose to discuss the transition with a specific person.
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Box
The uncertainties of what it means to be in a transgender relationship can be abundant and endless for some partners, especially when it is all so new. List any uncertainties that are overwhelming your mind. Writing them down can help release some anxiety and gain some power over your life. Some partners may choose to share these thoughts with their trans-identified partner or someone else. That choice is yours! (You may prefer to focus more on celebratory thoughts and/or feelings.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
EMPATHY-EMBRACING EXERCISE
Realizing that every experience you have in life has the potential to prepare you for the next challenge or venture that presents itself to you is empowering. Knowing you have survived and made it through a difficult or overwhelming situation fosters positive hope.
Have you experienced anything else in your life, other than the transition, that has been unexpected and confusing in any way? If so, what has it been and how did you cope, address, or handle this information?
AFFIRMATIVE ANECDOTE
We may not
Know why,
But we know
Change is
Going to happen!
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Bar Graph
To what degree do these concerns and related topics matter to you? Based on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, color or shade in your response. This visual will help you see where your greatest concerns lie and can help you to communicate this to your trans-identified partner, therapist, spiritual mentor, or for your own personal understanding. The bar graph results may vary as the transition progresses and your thoughts may shift.
Use these ideas to fill in the bar graph or feel free to create your own!
A. Your attraction to your partner.
B. Your partner’s attraction to you.
C. Your sex life.
D. Your own finances or employment.
E. Your partner’s finances or employment.
F. Your relationship with each other.
G. Your relationship with family/children.
H. Your relationship with friends.
I. Your trans-identified partner’s social/medical changes.
J. Your partner’s safety and yours.
COPYRIGHT © D. M. MAYNARD – THE REFLECTIVE WORKBOOK FOR PARTNERS OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE – 2019
GRAPHICS GALORE
Pie Graph
To what degree do these concerns and related topics matter to you? Decide how important are these topics to you in relation to each other? Place the number that corresponds with a suggested topic within as many slices of the pie that conveys how each one matters to you. Only one number should be placed in each slice. You do not need to use all the topics but do fill in all the slices. Feel free to create your own topics and assign them their own number.
1. Your attraction to your partner.
2. Your partner’s attraction to you.
3. Your sex life.
4. Your own finances or employment.
5. Your partner’s finances or employment.
6. Your relationship with
